Welcome & Happy New Year!

Nothing like getting right into it. This is an open journal for me to express myself and share my journey to our rainbow baby. We have been in our fourth round of IVF it was officially in full swing the first week of December. I had all but let go of the idea of becoming a mother after so many unsuccessful rounds of IVF and a few uncomfortable IUI's sprinkled in there. But something was telling me to try one more time before the end of the year and we went for it. New Years Day 2024 was the day scheduled for our pregnancy test. No pressure right?! Well after our drive to the clinic we were heading home and we saw THE call come through. I couldn't answer it I thought let have it go to voicemail so we can listen when we are ready to take it all in. But to our surprise no voicemail was left. Of course that send me spinning wondering if that was a good sign? I told my partner, they would have left a message if it was negative. SO maybe this means the nurse wanted to talk to us because it is positive. Anyways this went on for a couple hours until our clinic called again. I picked up, I must have felt it was going to be good news. That's when the nurse told me I was in fact pregnant and she hadn't left a message because she was still waiting for the progesterone results. WOW did I just hear her correctly every celling my body felt a huge relief at least for this moment we were still in it. Oh did I mention I am 44 and my birthday is in April. God willing our rainbow baby is healthy I will get to be 45 when they are born. Our first IVF in July of 2022 was also successful when we got that news we both cried and cried and hugged for so long. Unfortunelty that baby was not ready and at our first 9 week scan there was no heartbeat. I nearly lost my min that day. I knew the change of miscarriage was high but we were so hopeful and excited. This time we are equally happy but we are more aware that this journey is really a one day at a time kind of thing. There are no guarantee's and we have a long way to go. We are praying everyday and keeping the faith that God is watching over our little embryo ( or embryos). Time will tell all I can do is stay the course and not give up on our miracle baby. Thanks for stopping by and listening to the start of our journey to our rainbow baby. Sending you light and love along your journey wherever you are. I see you.

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This is my journal instead of keeping this all to myself I thought why not write about my journey: past and present, so I can look back one day and remember how this miracle baby unfolded. It is my hope this will help someone feel less alone on their journey to baby and also give me a much needed creative outlet every step of the way. Excited to begin sharing with you and getting to know you too! Sending lots of love and baby dust. This is not for the faint of heart but you on on your way warrior.

P.S. Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I am learning as I go. I typically write in a journal very free association. This is all a bit new to me, but I do love writing so I am hoping to improve as I go. Thanks for baring with me!

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